


ironic, the way you ruminate.

by felixmillstone



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, The Outer Worlds: Peril on Gorgon DLC, just two guys talkin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26465053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felixmillstone/pseuds/felixmillstone
Summary: Two men come to the realisation that the marauders they killed could’ve been them.------An introspective epilogue to the Peril of Gorgon DLC and an exploration into Felix and Max's dynamic, if we were to ever see it solo. A mild character study of the pair.
Relationships: Felix Millstone & Maximillian DeSoto, millsoto if you squint but there's nothing like inherently romantic you can read this as platonic
Kudos: 9





	ironic, the way you ruminate.

**Author's Note:**

> This can be read as platonic or romantic; either way, it's a close bond forged between a vicar and a rebel. 
> 
> SPOILERS FOR PERIL ON GORGON; both main story & side quest. Also, Max has been enlightened because enlightened!Max is my only experience with Gorgon so far. It’s a sort of post-story fic, sort of actual conversation about what happened because… man. It’s fucked, and I think Max and Felix have one of the best dynamics to explore that in.
> 
> Title comes from the irony of Max finding Gorgon hideous and Felix saying he was ruminating in one of the dialogue lines.

With his eyes cast upwards, legs swinging from the edge of the storage unit he’s decided to conquer, Felix allows himself to sigh heavily. The aesteriods that orbit the planet flicker as they spin, distorted and so far away. His gaze is paired with a shake of his head and words spoken into the rim of whatever it was the bartender in the Sprat Shack gave him for free. (To stop his poor flirting, but she would never say). The air was warm in a way that was in-explainable - familiar, yet so unfamiliar all at once. Like the Back Bays of the Groundbreaker, if the Back Bays had test tubes and test subjects instead of storage units and lost orphans.

“Y’know, somehow the sky looks just as fake as the scientists ‘round here.” The words are spoken to his companion - Maximilian DeSoto, who had taken it upon himself to cradle one of the many white bodied and clown faced sprats from the area.

“That’s likely because of the field surrounding the inhabitable area of the asteroid. You have to remember, without that, it’s likely the lack of oxygen or air pressure would slowly suffocate someone.” Long gone are the days that Felix’s moment of misinformed naivety would be a source of the Vicars amusement and belittling - in fact, one would argue that the rebel’s outlook on the world was endearing, and an outlook that Max was happy to further enhance with more information. Even if he's not so sure the information he's bestowing to his crew-mate is entirely true. “You’re, in essence, looking at the sky through—“

“—Tinted windows? Ironic.” Words cut through the actual sentiment with ease.

“…I was going to say tempered glass, but I suppose tinted windows works too.”

As if the correction never happened, Felix continues. “Real ironic. Those scientists back there saw the whole world like that. Good of the colony my ass. They created people who had a fate worse than death.” The more he speaks, the more apparent Felix’s restlessness was becoming. It’s of no surprise, though. Anyone who saw people made into cubes after living their lives drugged up in cages would be. Felix wasn't shy with how he was feeling, taking any chance he could to tell the Captain how sick he was feeling, or how many nightmares he was sure to have. Though, somehow, within all that openness, he still managed to keep himself closed. It was truly intriguing.

“Trapped mindlessly in their mind. It would be funny, if it weren’t so sickening.” (Almost anyone.) “I can’t say I disagree. The mind can be as much of a prison as Tartarus itself.”

“Ah. Tartarus.” Spoken like a man who almost understands the weight of that planet… and the mass. Empathy was Felix Millstone's middle name, after all. Even if he wasn't so attuned to it. “Just another example of being a cog in the murder machine.”

For a moment, there’s a pause. Max was taken aback - Felix didn't mean the people within Tartarus, but those who ran it, but it still took a moment for him to collect himself. Years of calling himself a monster for what he became was hard to unlearn, even with the drug trip of a lifetime. He would find that as ironic as what Felix was saying about the scientists, if he were still a cynical man. The air in the conversation goes stale for a moment, before Max clears his throat. “I also have to agree. I always had my suspicions… but truly using those imprisoned as puppets for a scheme? It’s despicable.”

“…right. Like… those are people too. But I guess that don’t matter if they’re no longer employees. Three tiers of living. Employee, unemployed, and Law forbid; a prisoner.” A snort of a laugh as he finishes his drink, stashing the bottle in his jacket. “Ain’t even gonna say anyone else is livin’. Fucked up monsters paradin’ as humans.”

There’s a thoughtful hum after Felix finishes speaking. Talking his way out of Max's spiraling with a practiced ease that simply wasn't practiced. Max had always admired the rebels way of going on without much thought; he had always admired Felix for shouting what he believed at the top of his lungs and fighting for it. Max knows, when the time comes, Felix will be drop kicking those ‘monsters’ whilst letting them know it’s because they were Board-certified puppets. Spacer's Choice puppets. Whatever-the-fuck, but puppets all the same.

For the briefest time, he feels bile bubble in his throat. Covering the acid burn with a cough, Max attempts to settle for only the hum, releasing the sprat he was hugging just on the side of too tight. He was that too, once. A board monster. A man who called himself righteous, whilst inadvertently killing those below him. Would Felix have killed him without much a thought, if he got in the way like those marauders did? Like the Board had? Max had been senseless puppet, defending the board until his dying breath - much like those who were senseless, defending the drug that bred them until they died with it. Again with the supple irony of drugs bringing him to the light.

…would Felix have killed him if he were the marauder? If he had become the very thing that was ruining the colony, all for a simple answer?

“What’cha thinking ‘bout Vic? Is it Leonara? I think Boss did right by tellin’ her. She don’t know what we know, so it ain’t as bad as knowin’ he was doomed for it no ma—“ Felix cuts through his thoughts with the sharp blade of his words.

“…I could have been Jerome.”

“…What?” It appears that Max finally managed to strike the ‘silence Felix Millstone’ card in his latest pull, because any ramblings the other was about to embark on were cut short. “Naw, Max. Ain’t no one here gonna let you touch that shit.”

“You misunderstand. I was on Tartarus once, too. I was one stop away from being drugged out of my mind and…” With a shake of his head, his eyes look up - in the same moment Felix’s look down to him. “I was vulnerable. Hurting. Who knows what I could have done, if offered a way out.”

“…probably wouldn’t have gone, since you’re stubborn.” Felix muses. There’s supposed to be a hint of amusement in his tone - but the situation is far too dire to warrant such.

“Perhaps you’re right.” The tone is picked up by the Vicar, the smallest twitch of a smile upon his lips. “But I still can’t help but wonder who’s still waiting for their loved one to come home.”

“…Too many to think about. It makes me kinda sick.” Shaking his head once more, Felix settles on shifting closer to the Vicar. Not quite a hug, but not a cold shoulder either. “But at least we _can_ think about it. We got real lucky with the Cap.”

“One might say a little too lucky.”

“One might, but one won’t. Max, I’ve told you time and time… we might get pissed when you used to act like we were sprat shit on your boot and find your ruminating confusin’, but we would go to the ends of the universe to find you if you ever got lost.” A promise finds its way to the end of Felix's words. Max finds himself believing it.

“I have to correct you,” There’s a pause, and Felix almost jumps in to fill it before Max continues. “You were ruminating too, earlier. I heard you telling the Captain.”

“…Ah. Yeah. I was. Everyone knows someone who’s hurt by the marauders. Even those who’ve never fought one, now. Like, if you're a worker who knows a worker, or a worker who knew a guy that disappeared, it's pretty fuckin' obvious where they ended up. It was kinda… super pissin’ me off that this whole cooperate greed ruins lives… _man— mun—_ uh… slogan… was worse than we could ever imagine. And… and I guess I was tryin’ to get calm and sort my head out, so I didn’t smash the faces of every stupid smilin’ moon head or vending guy chantin’ **‘it’s not the best choice—!’**.”

“…” A fond chuckle escapes Max’s lips. “So you were calming before the mission was ruined by something you can’t control, but manage. I’m proud of you.” The compliment ends the sentence before Max can stop it - not that he ever would have, with the way Felix's shoulders dropped with pride of his own.

“…Gee. Thanks, Max. That’s almost as unsettling as Minnie’s want to bring this all back.”

Max tuts. The conversation lulls.

“…Martin was Spacer’s Choice approved. Do you think they would take him? Y’know. If we don’t stop her?” Or it should have lulled, but Felix has a bad habit of exposing his true upset at the very last minute.

“…Her vision involves making workers better. I wouldn’t doubt so. Groundbreaker might be among the last surviving Board approved solo runs, but I don't doubt their determination to make good workers better. Or worse, with the guise of bettering.”

“…” Felix’s vision goes blurry for a moment, tears he didn’t even know he was holding threatening to tumble down his dirt ridden face. “That’s fuckin’ terrifyin’.” Clearly, the sentiment struck a nerve. Of course it would. For all the suffering it had brought to Felix, for all the times blisters were bound to his feet, there was a nicer time and a smile to ease the pain. The Groundbreaker was Felix's only experience with extended family. It would be scary to think about how easy it could be taken away. There’s a quiet squeak from the long-forgotten sprat, and Felix finds it in himself to muster a wet laugh. “At least there’s a silver linin’. These guys must’ve seen hell, and they seem okay. Must mean we will be too.”

“Of course. We always are.

“…It makes me as sick as you to think I would’ve defended this, less than a year ago.” Max can't help himself, still so desperate for Felix to tear him apart and allow him to truly believe he would be left for dead in different circumstances.

“— yeah. I’m so glad I never did. I… I hope Boss makes the right call and burns Gorgon to the ground. I never want to see anyone I love become husks.” The tearing doesn't come. It never does.

“As do I. They’re smart, Felix. They’ve always had the heart of Halcyon in their hands.”

“Even when Halcyon wanted their heart stopped.” Finally, Felix rips his eyes from Max's face.

“Yes. Even when Halcyon wanted our hearts stopped.” Finally, Max looks to Felix.

**Author's Note:**

> come and yell at me on tumblr: [ millstonespecial. ](https://millstonespecial.tumblr.com/)


End file.
